
Awakening? Its all relative I think. I am beginning to think that I have lived two different lives till now. They are both quite opposite and dramatic. This experience has indeed changed the way I think and influenced my current lifestyle to an extreme degree.
I don't hate much, but one of the foremost on my hate list is the social concrete parameters that has been weaved into our everyday lives. If you try to break it or bend it, you are looked down upon. You are seen as a weird out-of-the-box person who does not fit in these social surroundings. You are degraded and made to feel that you have let down a lot of people. It is dictatorship through a social channel.
While conversing with my mom last night, I came to the realization that she perhaps has expectations of me that I cannot fulfill. She has given me enough space to let me feel and learn from my experiences and make up my own ideologies, but will she succumb to social pressure for other things? I have escaped the narrow life ideologies and would never bend to things like that, ever. I only hope they can understand that I live for my contentedness and not to be socially appropriate.
Why can't we live on our basics? The world has become such a complex place with so many social prohibitions and unwritten guidelines that a lot of people don't really think for themselves and just simply follow the path laid down to them. If you conceive the abnormalities and try to break through them, you are ousted. Is it justified then, keeping in mind the danger of losing civility in our society? Its almost as if the outline for our lives is sketched out and we are supposed to stick to the inside of the lines.

Jim Morrison wrote :
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need of some stranger's hand
In a desperate land
I can't begin to explain how much these lines relate to my life!
I just consider myself very lucky for what I have gone through, all the experiences, to have the capability to understand the change, the impact of the change and the value of it. I will never want to trade this for any different life. I am glad I met the people I did, made the friends I made and made the best friends I made.
Love Love,
Ruch.