Ever felt that you have been good the whole year and yet Santa didnt give you what you wanted? or even something you could consider decent??
I am sitting on hot steel and am trying to jump away..but its my life and you cant really jump off it, can you? even though its burning your very skin. You just try to shift your weight, try to put a cover over the steel (until of course it burns away) and you try to tell your brain you are sitting on lovely transparent floats and relaxing in a great pool.
I think of vengence with great passion. But I have been brought up with great morals which have always told me to forgive and forget. But shouldn't there be any limit to which you can implement forgive and forget?I mean everything has a limit right? If so, then what is the limit? Who is going to judge that? I am not very sure if God will ever punish, coz He preaches forgive and forget.But isn't there someone who should be punishing them? How can they be so content and oblivious to what they have been doing to others? They grow on you like parasites. They conspire to suck out all the blood out of you and you know it, yet, are helpless, coz you have resolved not to do anything at all. Should I change my mind? Should I do something I really don't want to but coz it seems the best and the most deserving thing to do? If I continue keeping mum, how deep will they go? Can I take it any longer? There are some awesome things going on in my life and yet I cant seem to enjoy them!( at which others would have been jublivient!) . The thoughts of betrayal come back to me every night like a haunting tune that I have composed. Yes, I know how it feels feeling your rotten most and no its nothing like what you feel even when a truck goes over your foot or when you are hanging upside down from a plane and your hair gets caught in the blades of the copter flying below you. Its worse.
The perennial question is what should I be doing about it?
Its always a big debate with myself. And again in the end I still have absolutely no idea what to do to make all the horrors go away.
