To be or not be

I am so tired of being here
shown the path after being so near
Is it the problem or is it the cure!?
so scared of the end, so clear

The hourglass standing still
Frozen in time,half-way,
The beads of sand reluctant
to drop down all the way.

A sense of blindness overcoming fear
which is better, if not the cure;
After all not being able to see
is a convenient disguise for not wanting to believe.

Packed away I am, mine.
In the wings of time,
Not judging my plight,
Lying still in the midst of the night.

random thoughts

A gap forming
feeling less binding
I am to blame-always..
me, myself..alone.

To a loved one i am a deciever,
A bitch in the weaver.

a bubble from the froth,
bursting to be gone.

Disconnected is relative,
illusioned is medicative,
lies is dedicative.

realize it like a mirror..
just a reflection, not the self.
just a skin on me, not the self.
just pretending, not the self.

Never 2 sides of a coin..only one.
the other one is our shield..our excuse.

soulless is the mantra..
no root,no branches, no fruit, no truth.